Post by TinderMahal on Jul 14, 2019 16:17:37 GMT -5
***A disclaimer flashes on screen.
Disclaimer: Due to recent events, Tinder Mahal is unavailable for video comment.
***A black screen flashes.
Voice: Your new City Champion, Tinder... MAHAL!
***The sound of an underage girl next door cheering.
***The sound of at least 5 people clapping.
Voice: Your mother isn't the only conquering that has happened.
***The screen flashes white and then black again.
***The scene opens up to a notebook. An unidentifiable hand scribbles on paper.
Voice: Many years have passed since a champion so strong has dominated so quickly. Many years have passed since the prophecy had proclaimed an heir...
***Mic scratch
Tinder: What is this? Who paid for this? I have two dollars in my satchel...
***Shot cuts to Tinder sitting at a table on a shared residency. Heroin addicts passed out in the yard nearby.
Tinder: Let it be known! To the upper caste that had no faith in me. To the women that I lay bare with that had no faith in me. I have finally accomplished my dream.
Tinder: Bollywood be damned! Pornhub Amateur be damned!
Tinder: I have reached the pinnacle of Western Civilization achievement. I am the City Champion.
Tinder: Where is my float?
Tinder: Where are my fireworks?
Tinder: You all celebrate a hedonistic holiday, the 4th of July. But you can't be bothered to celebrate my tan, oily body.
Tinder: SHAME!
***Tinder stands up and walks towards a ripped screen door.
***Tinder turns towards the camera.
Tinder: My curry is the spiciest this side of the pacific.
Tinder: Let me know when I have a challenger worthy. I'll put him to bed just like I did that girl from the Sunoco.
***The camera fades to black as Tinder enters his apartment. Actually it may not be his. It may be Massive Mary that he met at Dizzy's last night.
Disclaimer: Due to recent events, Tinder Mahal is unavailable for video comment.
***A black screen flashes.
Voice: Your new City Champion, Tinder... MAHAL!
***The sound of an underage girl next door cheering.
***The sound of at least 5 people clapping.
Voice: Your mother isn't the only conquering that has happened.
***The screen flashes white and then black again.
***The scene opens up to a notebook. An unidentifiable hand scribbles on paper.
Voice: Many years have passed since a champion so strong has dominated so quickly. Many years have passed since the prophecy had proclaimed an heir...
***Mic scratch
Tinder: What is this? Who paid for this? I have two dollars in my satchel...
***Shot cuts to Tinder sitting at a table on a shared residency. Heroin addicts passed out in the yard nearby.
Tinder: Let it be known! To the upper caste that had no faith in me. To the women that I lay bare with that had no faith in me. I have finally accomplished my dream.
Tinder: Bollywood be damned! Pornhub Amateur be damned!
Tinder: I have reached the pinnacle of Western Civilization achievement. I am the City Champion.
Tinder: Where is my float?
Tinder: Where are my fireworks?
Tinder: You all celebrate a hedonistic holiday, the 4th of July. But you can't be bothered to celebrate my tan, oily body.
Tinder: SHAME!
***Tinder stands up and walks towards a ripped screen door.
***Tinder turns towards the camera.
Tinder: My curry is the spiciest this side of the pacific.
Tinder: Let me know when I have a challenger worthy. I'll put him to bed just like I did that girl from the Sunoco.
***The camera fades to black as Tinder enters his apartment. Actually it may not be his. It may be Massive Mary that he met at Dizzy's last night.