Post by TinderMahal on Jul 21, 2019 17:50:30 GMT -5
*** Camera fades in and finds Tinder stretching his hammies over top of an oven baked ham.
*** It looks just as awkward as it sounds.
*** The camera zooms into his hairy, golden-tan legs and then up to his crotch.
Tinder: Camera man... Please. I know. It's wonderful. Your mother saw it last night. But I am the focus of this promotion. Please, up here.
*** The camera pans up to Tinder's face. A few abrasions and gashes can be seen under the light. Scars of prior battles.
Tinder: Well... Well... Well... Here we are.
Tinder: The last of all of us.
Tinder: Me.
Tinder: The only one wiling to devote time to be great, to care, to show a moticum of fortitude to cumming in your mom!
Tinder: I degress... Which I do not do often.
*** The camera slowly zooms out to a full view of Tinder, which is unfortunate because he is essentially nude - wearing only a bath towl around his hairy waste.
Tinder: I have come and conquered. It was much easier than I supposed. Like your mom.
Tinder: It appears that all challengers have disappeared. It's true what they say...
Tinder: A quick glance on Facebook will show that everyone here is a drug addicted, shallow-minded, white-trash-free-for-all.
Tinder: No wonder this country relies on foreigners for important roles such as doctors and scientists.
Tinder: You are all so focused on your toothless girlfriends causing drama instead of looking at the gold...
Tinder: Which I now have.
Tinder: I've rested and i'm ready to defend, but it's clear my challengers have disappeared.
Tinder: From this moment forward - I declare myself the eternal City champion until a challenger worthy comes along... as all of you are too busy with drama, heroin, and attempting to please your ladies when you just don't have the length or girth... I would apologize, but...
*** Tinder exhales on the City belt... and wipes it off with his arm.
Tinder: I'm the best there is... The best there was... and you are god damn right that your girl and mom both say that I am the best there ever will be.
Tinder: Suck my kebab.
*** The camera pans to the side to see Tinder slowly exit the room... displaying a full moon. We can only assume it is in celebration of the Apollo 11 mission.
*** It looks just as awkward as it sounds.
*** The camera zooms into his hairy, golden-tan legs and then up to his crotch.
Tinder: Camera man... Please. I know. It's wonderful. Your mother saw it last night. But I am the focus of this promotion. Please, up here.
*** The camera pans up to Tinder's face. A few abrasions and gashes can be seen under the light. Scars of prior battles.
Tinder: Well... Well... Well... Here we are.
Tinder: The last of all of us.
Tinder: Me.
Tinder: The only one wiling to devote time to be great, to care, to show a moticum of fortitude to cumming in your mom!
Tinder: I degress... Which I do not do often.
*** The camera slowly zooms out to a full view of Tinder, which is unfortunate because he is essentially nude - wearing only a bath towl around his hairy waste.
Tinder: I have come and conquered. It was much easier than I supposed. Like your mom.
Tinder: It appears that all challengers have disappeared. It's true what they say...
Tinder: A quick glance on Facebook will show that everyone here is a drug addicted, shallow-minded, white-trash-free-for-all.
Tinder: No wonder this country relies on foreigners for important roles such as doctors and scientists.
Tinder: You are all so focused on your toothless girlfriends causing drama instead of looking at the gold...
Tinder: Which I now have.
Tinder: I've rested and i'm ready to defend, but it's clear my challengers have disappeared.
Tinder: From this moment forward - I declare myself the eternal City champion until a challenger worthy comes along... as all of you are too busy with drama, heroin, and attempting to please your ladies when you just don't have the length or girth... I would apologize, but...
*** Tinder exhales on the City belt... and wipes it off with his arm.
Tinder: I'm the best there is... The best there was... and you are god damn right that your girl and mom both say that I am the best there ever will be.
Tinder: Suck my kebab.
*** The camera pans to the side to see Tinder slowly exit the room... displaying a full moon. We can only assume it is in celebration of the Apollo 11 mission.