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Post by hardcorehobo on Jun 10, 2019 19:28:35 GMT -5
Jason Kel approaches a bench where newly crowned City Champion Olaf, The Hardcore Hobo, is sitting. The City Championship is slung over his shoulder, his bare feet are dunked in an Igloo cooler full of ice and beer, and a small bag of ice is on his sore crotch.
Jason: Hardcore Hobo, can I get a quick post match interview?
Hobo: *winces in pain and/or disgust* I guess, Mason.
Jason: My name is Jason.
Hobo: Get to the point, needle dick!
Jason: You’ve just bested 3 other men and become the new City Campion! How do you feel?
Hobo: Did you not watch the match, asshair?!? I feel like I got the shit kicked out of me! Those were some tough bastards; not Sister Josefina tough, more like 5 day old roadkill skunk sitting in the Nevada sun tough.
Jason: Fair point. What are your thoughts about Vin E McDangerously attacking you?
Hobo: If the man wants to grope me nutsack there’s a time, a place, and a price. And not so damn tough, varmint!! *grabs his balls painfully*
Jason: Really...? *cough* I mean, you got to defend the title next week against Stretchnuts the Clown. What’s your strategy?
Hobo: *reaches into the cooler and cracks open a beer* I’m gonna stick my hot plate so far up Numbnuts’ ass his Bozo nose is gonna turn red! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m getting me some hot Chinese food!
*Some dorky guy in glasses and chinos comes running towards Jason and Olaf*
Dork: Hey! That’s my cooler! That’s my beer you filthy degenerate! Give it back you cowardly thief!
Hobo: *smiles* Why shore, you fuckin’ nerd!
Olaf cracks the beer over the dork’s head, busting him open. The Hobo then places his newly won City Championship on the ground, then kicks the dork in his dick. The dork doubles over in agony. The Hobo steps back, then runs at the dork and nails him with Pork and Beans (running DDT) right on the title.
Hobo: Stupid ass. *bends down and steals the dork’s wallet* Come on Mason, dinner’s on me.
Olaf picks up the City Championship and walks out of the park, Jason Kel in tow.
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