Post by hardcorehobo on Jun 14, 2019 1:06:59 GMT -5
Ned is lying in bed with his wife Rory asleep when the sound of a toilet flushing awakens them
Rory: What was that?
Ned: I don’t know. I’ll check it out.
Ned gets out of bed, grabbing a baseball bat. He makes his way to the master bathroom, the sound of water running faintly audible. Ned flings the door open to see a startled Olaf, City Championship around his waist.
Olaf: Jeezus! You damn near gave me a heart attack!
Ned: Who the fuck are you?!?
Olaf: I’m the Hardcore Hobo! Didn’t you watch Mischief on Monday?
Ned: Oh, that. Wait, how’d you get in here?
Olaf: Door was open.
Olaf exits the bathroom, heading down the hallway to the kitchen
Ned: Wait, no it wasn’t!
Olaf: It was after I picked the lock. *opens the fridge* Got any salami?
Ned: Get outta my refrigerator!
Olaf: *ignoring Ned* Ooh, head cheese! That sounds great.
Ned: Why are you in my house, raiding my fridge?
Olaf: I gotta bulk up for my title defense this Monday against Krusty the Clown.
Ned: Who?
Olaf: Some juggalo asshole that thinks he’s gonna take my title. Pass the bread.
Ned: You think you can beat him?
Olaf: Damn skippy! Just as long as that McDangerously prick stays outta me way. He better be an impartial ref or I’ll kick his ass, too!
Ned hands Olaf a loaf of wonder bread while Olaf grabs horseradish, Worcestershire sauce, and olives from the fridge.
Ned: What the hell kind of sandwich is that?
Olaf: I call it the Hobo Delight.
Olaf grabs a knife and cuts the foul sandwich in half
Ned: No thank you.
Olaf: This ain’t for you, shit-for-brains! Dean, get over here!
Dean the raccoon jumps onto the counter and begins eating the sandwich. A disgusted Ned walks back towards his room. He calls back to Olaf.
Ned: Get the fuck out of my house once you finish your sandwich. *whispers to himself* I really don’t need this shit.
Ned walks into the bedroom just in time to see Rory vomit onto the floor. She lifts her head up.
Rory: Who fucking died in the bathroom?!?
Ned sighs as Rory continues to dry heave.
Rory: What was that?
Ned: I don’t know. I’ll check it out.
Ned gets out of bed, grabbing a baseball bat. He makes his way to the master bathroom, the sound of water running faintly audible. Ned flings the door open to see a startled Olaf, City Championship around his waist.
Olaf: Jeezus! You damn near gave me a heart attack!
Ned: Who the fuck are you?!?
Olaf: I’m the Hardcore Hobo! Didn’t you watch Mischief on Monday?
Ned: Oh, that. Wait, how’d you get in here?
Olaf: Door was open.
Olaf exits the bathroom, heading down the hallway to the kitchen
Ned: Wait, no it wasn’t!
Olaf: It was after I picked the lock. *opens the fridge* Got any salami?
Ned: Get outta my refrigerator!
Olaf: *ignoring Ned* Ooh, head cheese! That sounds great.
Ned: Why are you in my house, raiding my fridge?
Olaf: I gotta bulk up for my title defense this Monday against Krusty the Clown.
Ned: Who?
Olaf: Some juggalo asshole that thinks he’s gonna take my title. Pass the bread.
Ned: You think you can beat him?
Olaf: Damn skippy! Just as long as that McDangerously prick stays outta me way. He better be an impartial ref or I’ll kick his ass, too!
Ned hands Olaf a loaf of wonder bread while Olaf grabs horseradish, Worcestershire sauce, and olives from the fridge.
Ned: What the hell kind of sandwich is that?
Olaf: I call it the Hobo Delight.
Olaf grabs a knife and cuts the foul sandwich in half
Ned: No thank you.
Olaf: This ain’t for you, shit-for-brains! Dean, get over here!
Dean the raccoon jumps onto the counter and begins eating the sandwich. A disgusted Ned walks back towards his room. He calls back to Olaf.
Ned: Get the fuck out of my house once you finish your sandwich. *whispers to himself* I really don’t need this shit.
Ned walks into the bedroom just in time to see Rory vomit onto the floor. She lifts her head up.
Rory: Who fucking died in the bathroom?!?
Ned sighs as Rory continues to dry heave.