Post by Admin on Jun 25, 2019 0:25:14 GMT -5
The stream begins with Nathan Doe and Tommy Victor standing on the patio next to the basement. Trusty Rock Band Microphones in hand.
Nathan: It is here. The third episode of Mischief. And we have a big show.
Tommy: And before we get things started we have what we are told is a contractual obligation to air an advertisement. This may annoy the viewers, but we assure you that it could lead to big things in the near future.
Nathan: So enjoy
An Ad begins. A chubby middle aged Car Salesmen is standing in his lot. He is wearing a suit and a 10 gallon hat. He is Texas Pete.
Texas Pete: Hey my name is Texas Pete. I ain’t from Texas and my name’s not Pete, but I like to talk with an accent. And I also like giving you the best damn deals on used cars in the entire state. You may be tempted to go to my competitor Engine Joe, but I hear prices aren’t the only thing he scalps. So come on down to Texas Petes. Purchase any car off of my lot before July 17th and you earn a free Trump 2020 Ball cap and Teasers xxx desk calendar
The Ad ends.
Nathan: Well that was certainly something.
Tommy Victor: I cannot believe what I have just seen.
Nathan: Or what we are about to see. Our first match tonight. A Texas Jock Strap match.
Tommy: For those of you at home who don’t get the reference. A texas bullrope match puts two opponents against each other while straping them together, tethering them at the wrist with a bull rope.
Nathan: But this is the BWF and we do things a little differently. So because we have a former NCAA wrestler we decided that a Jock strap match would be fitting.
Tommy: Coach Jimbo and Dillon the Villain will be tied together with dirty jock straps. Normal match rules apply otherwise. So there. There is your frame of reference peons. Now monkey play some damn music.
Jason Kel steps into frame.
Tommy: We can’t see you asshole.
Jason steps a little to the left, only slightly in frame now.
Jason: How about now.
Tommy: Perfect.
Jason: I don’t feel like I am in frame.
Nathan: You’re not.
Jason shakes his head and flips Tommy off. Then as professionally as he can resumes his duties.
Jason Kel: Ladies and gentlemen our first match, a Texas Jockstrap match, is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first. He is Dillon the Villain.
THe boombox bitch fumbles around and Metallica’s One plays. Dillon steps out from behind the newly spray painted curtain. Showing no emotion as he walks to the yard.
Nathan: This man is on a mission. You could see it in his eyes.
Tommy: And his latest promo, he has been training harder than he has ever trained before.
Nathan: Something tells me this time it may stick.
Tommy: Just like your mothers sheets after I came over last night.
Jason Kel: And his opponent Coach Jimbo.
The sound of button pressing is heard and Cotton Eye Joe plays. Jimbo comes out line dancing and carrying both his trophy and jock strap from 1988. The masked referee takes the jock strap and ties it to the others, a long string of dirty jock straps prepared prior to the bout. He then ties each wrestler to their respective end.
Tommy: And now they are tied together. With no escape.
Nathan: This is clearly leaning in the favor of Jimbo.
Jimbo pulls on the strap making Dillon step forward against his will. Demonstrating the strength and size difference. The clunking of random metal signals the beginning of the match.
Nathan: And the bell has rung lets get it on!
Jimbo again pulls on the jockstrap strap and Dillon stumbles forward. Jimbo laughs and pulls again, but this time Dillon goes with it, and runs, using the momentum of the pull the strengthen his attack. He dives into Jimbo’s knee causing him to drop onto it.
Nathan: Wow, already taking the big man down.
Dillon gets up and throws several kicks to Jimbos side. He puts his arm up to block his face as Dillons kicks connect in the mid section.
Dillon: That’s right. I Am Dillon the fucking Villain bitch.
JImbo pulls him close and wraps his arms around him and belly to belly suplexes him, but the straps arent long enough for a full execution causing Dollon to land on his head.
Nathan: We are five minutes into this show and already we have someone with cranialitis.
Jimbo slowly gets to his feet and drags Dillon by the straps closer to him. He lifts him up again and Headbutts him. Then pulls him in close and side walk slams him.
Tommy: I think that Dillon is out cold and Jimbo is just playing with him like a cat and mouse.
Jimbo doesn’t even go for a cover just drags him about the yard and picks him up again at his whim. NEar the edge of the property line is a big plastic bench, one that opens for storage. Jimbo drags him to the bench picks him up and slams him on top of it. The bench’s pieces scatter on impact and Dillon lands on the landscaping equipment that was stored within.
Nathan: That had to hurt. The bench straight up exploded on impact. It’s literally turned into dust.
Tommy: It is plastic, and fixable Nathan, but point still stands.
Jimbo lays a foot on the chest of Dillon expecting a quick pinfall. The ref hits the dirt.
1
2
Dillon kicks out, rolling his shoulders off of the ground. Several cameramen are walking around to get their shots on their phones and handhelds. We see some teenagers on bikes watching from the road. Jimbo pulls on the strap so hard that Dillon is launched to his feet. He tries to clothesline him but Dillon ducks under, he turns and gets Enzuguri kicked. He is a little loopy. Dillon digs deep finding the second wind and unleashes a flury of attacks. Punches, kicks, elbows and a headbutt. Jimbo turns away to protect himself but Dillon wraps the strap around Jimbos throat and chokes him. Jimbo face turns bright purple.
Nathan: Somebody call Willy Wonka.
Dillon climbs onto JImbos shoulders and pulls even harder on the straps around JImbo’s neck. He drops to one knee about to pass put. But before he does he reaches up with his other hand and untethers himself. Dillon pulls harder but the Jock straps all fall apart and Dillon falls onto his ass.
Nathan: He has broken the strap and now neither competitor is tethered.
Tommy: I am not sure if this is allowed but Vin E hasn’t sent word to end the match so it continues. JImbo lunges at the proned Villain, but Dillon rolls out of the way and Jimbo collides face first into the ground. He rolls, leaving a dirt impacted imprint of his large frame. He gets to a knee but Dillon reaches into his pocket and grabs his knuckle dusters then swings, not once, not twice but thrice. Connecting every time. Jimbo is out on his feet. Dillon grabs him applies the twist of fate and covers him.
1
2
3
Jason Kel: And your winner, Dillon the Villain.
Nathan: He scores his first victory here at the BWF.
Dillon jumps for joy and runs up to the children near the road watching.
Dillon: That’s right i’m the fucking man. I am the fucking man.
He pulls back as if to swing at the audience. JImbo is already awake though and grabs his trophy.
JImbo: You pimply little shit I am gonna shove this up your ass.
Dillon high tails it and Jimbo walks after him.
Nathan: Well that was an exciting first match. Next up is the Triple Threat.
The Stream cuts to an office/guest room. The Masked Admin is sitting at a desk and VIn E is sitton opposite of him.
Admin: Look Vin E, I called this meeting because of what happened last week when I was away with investors. You brought a goon from a rival company to my show and have spent weeks attacking our champion. What’s the deal? This is literally not ok Vin E.
Vin E: Look, your champion is a homeless man with no marketable value at all. Sure he won the City Championship on his own merit but I told you not to have the title up for grabs yet. I told you to hold the Victory Cup Tournament. You hired me to be a general manager because of what I have accomplished at these “rival feds”/ The Big Boroski isn’t a goon from another fed. He is a potential wrestler here. I have a million ideas and tricks up my sleeve. You think Texas Pete and Engine Joe want their products advertised on a show featuring a hobo as the face of the company?
Admin: That’s between me, the owner, the man with the clipboard, again me, and the investors. You are to handle day to day things. Such as match booking. Not worry about who our champion is. Just promote him.
Vin E: You think the LWA would ever use a hobo? Nope. The LPW? Nope. Not even those knuckleheads in Kittanning at the BWA. You hired me because I am the smartest man in this region, in this state even. No one knows how to book, feature, promote a backyard show like me. IF it weren’t for me, there would be no show to attract investors.
Admin: And that’s exactly why I am not punishing you Vin E. Just asking for better communication. Olaf is a people’s champion. You may not like it. But there cannot be any more shenanigans
Vin E stares longingly at the clipboard.
Vin E: Sure boss. Sure. No more.
Admin: Good now get out there and manage this show, generally speaking.
Back to yard side. Jason Kel is in frame.
Jason: And now introducing Taboo
Mr Crowley plays and Taboo walks out, chainless and Mitch follows him this time. The scars of their ritual showing on Taboos chest.
Jason Kel: And introducing next. Strethcnuts.
Just like that plays and he runs into the yard yelling obscenities at the local children and grabs his nuts like a phat clown prince.
Jason Kel: and finally Maniac Mark.
Tommy: Manic.
Jason: Maniac.
“killing in The Name Of” blares for 20 seconds before “Maniac” Mark walks out and stands well more than shoulder width, almost a split, and puts his arms over his head to form an “X” before walking into the yard and getting ready for battle.
And the three of them square up and the clunking of random metal ding ding dings.
The three of them tie up with one another they jockey about and all let go. Then they tie up again in different formation. This repeats a few times before Stretchnuts kicks Taboo in the groin then flees Mark, running circles around Taboo. Taboo trips the clown and Mark leaps onto him with an elbow to the spine. Taboo tries to get the jump on Mark but misses. Then the two lock up. Mark turns Taboos arm inside out.
Nathan: Mark debuted last week. He is a true death matcher but we didn’t see much of it.
Tommy: So this week we took the liberty of lining the yard with wood and other weapons, but something tells me he prefers that barbed wire bat.
Mark DDts Taboo to the ground. Leaving him spiked, completely upright for a moment. Stretchnuts comes at him but he lifts him into a back body drop, he lands onto Taboo. Then Mark splashes onto the both of them. HE covers.
1
2
They both wiggle out and Mark finds a piece of wood and places it on a wheel barrel and a burn barrel creating a make shift table. Taboo runs over to him and forearms him from behind. Mark turns around and punches him and delivers a toe kick. Taboo is bent Down and Mark lifts him up and powerbombs him through the plywood. Stretchnuts swings a few punches but Mark runs at him with the wheel barrel and runs with him inside of it all the way to Neds truck. They smash into the side of it.
Nathan: mark is on fire right now.
While Mark pummels Stretchnuts Mitch and Taboo set up a series of make shift tables. Mark turns to him and runs and smashes a short arm clothesline to both of them. Mitch is first to his feet and Mark delivers a Cure, pump handle slam to him through one of the tables. Taboo kicks Mark but Mark wall jumps from the side of the house and forearms him. Taboo falls through a table of his own. The second table bump taking a lot out of him.
Nathan: Taboo cannot catch a break around here. I hope he is better are bdsm gigs than he is here.
Tommy: I assure that he is.
Nathan: How...How do you..
Tommy: That’s between me and your mother.
Suddenly Strethnuts smashes Mark in the head with a 2 liter of moon myst.
Stretchnuts: Moon myset is the best you fake ass bitch. Moon myst.
He opens it and pours it all over Mark and down his throat. Then steps over to the final table and pours lighter fluid on it and strikes a match. It goes out immediately. So he strikes the whole pack and lights the table.
Tommy: And the table is ablaze
Mark brings bessie down onto Stretchnuts shoulder he screams in pain and, his eyes are wider than his mouth. He spins around and is met with A Cure from Mark right through the flaming table. The fire goes out on impact, after singing the jersey Stretchnuts was wearing. Mark pins the clown.
1
2
3
Jason: And here is your winner Maniac Mark.
Nathan: What an impressive showing. He made light work of Taboo and Strethcnuts will never be the same.
The yard is picked up for the main event. Jason takes his trusty old Mic from Rock Band and announces.
Jason Kel: And now a non title, match. Introducing first the challenger.
GLASS SHATTERS.
Jason Kel: Tinder Mahal
Shakira’s hips don’t lie plays on the boombox.
Seductively and energetically thrusts and pivots his hips and crotch towards the camera and onlookers while pointing and gesturing for them to "cum get sum." Once in the yard "ring" he will go from corner to corner and blow kisses to EVERYONE in the crowd before doing a quick floss dance and then rolling onto his back and lifting his legs into the air in a "V" shape.
Nathan: I don’t know what to make of this fella, but he has impressed everyone here at the BWF.
Tommy: He certainly hasn’t outsourced any talent.
Jason: And your City Champion. Olaf the HArdcore Hobo.
harmonica music with railroad sounds spliced in Plays
Olaf Shakes his bindle at the crowd, swipes at whatever concession food he can get his hands on. Wearing the City Championship with pride. No sooner than he has the belt removed from his waist Tinder attacks before the bell. He strikes a few times but Olaf elbows himself free and points to Tinder who stops in his tracks and dances a jig.
A larger audience has gathered on the nearby porches. Tinder and Olaf lock up. Olaf wraps around and pulls Tinders legs out from under him. He hits the ground face first. Olaf goes for a headlock but Tinder rolls free and lays seductively on the ground. But instead of being put off Olaf goes right in for him and starts pounding on him. Than stands up and lands a leg drop.
Nathan: And our champion is showing why he is the top guy.
Tommy: A perfect fit for Tinder, who strikes me as a bottom guy.
Olaf lands another leg drop and lifts Tinder up to his feet and delivers a stalling atomic drop. Tinder hops around in pain grabbing his ass and screaming. Olaf runs and knees. Tinder takes a light jog away to catch his breath and Olaf rouses the crowd with some classic Hobo jeering. HE looks at Tinder with all of his gold and asks for spare change. Tinder reaches into his pocket and takes some out then whips it at Olaf, hitting him in the eyes.
He shrieks loudly and runs forearming the champion. Then delivers a classic Tinder bitch kick to his opponents head. He sees the girl on the neighboring porch, and remembers her from last week and gestures sexually to her.
Nathan: Someone should really tell him that girl is like 14.
Tinder: Perfectly legal in my culture.
Tommy: Won’t be long before Tinder is having a seat right over there.
Olaf gets up and Tinder sensually slams him with a sexy German suplex. Then lifts him up and does it once more.
Nathan: Thank you come again.
Tinder: That’s what she said!
Nathan: She’s 14 Tinder.
Tinder slaps Olaf a few times across the face.
Tommy: Swipping left he is.
Tinder grabs Olafs bindle and strokes it a few times before breaking it over his back.
Tinder does some sexy dancing, to confident in his spot. Olaf takes the moment he needs for a come back. Tinder turns around and Olaf is upright and pounching. He thumbs his eye and then discus punches him. Kicks him in the gut and hits him with a stunner and pins.
1
2
Thr
Tinder kicks out.
Nathan: Oh my that was close.
Olaf reaches into his britches and pulls out his hobo sock. Tinder takes off a large gold chain from around his neck and as Olaf reaches out for the hobo handjob Tinder smacks him with the chain. Olf drops to a knee seeing stars. Tinder mimmicks the hobo handjob and reaches into his pocket and pulls out a double xl condom. He puts it over his hand and delivers a mandible claw of his own.
Nathan: I suppose we can call that the Hindi Handjob.
HE pins.
1
2
Thre
Olaf kicks out and Tinder gets mad and argues with the referee. This goes on just long enough for Olaf to reach up and apply a schoolboy pin.
1
2
Tinder kicks out but they are to their feet at the same time. Olaf, still with his sock over his hand delivers the Hobo Handjob but lets go after just a second.
Nathan: He had the match won. Why did he let go?
Vin E is seen near the road with a cat cage, inside is a racoon.
Tommy: Is that Olaf’s pal?
Olaf steps forward to walk toward Vin E and Tinder comes up and hits the Shake, Rattle, and Bone. He covers.
1
2
3
Jason: And here is your winner. Tinder Mahal.
Vine Laughs from his belly and drops the animal crate. The racoon escapes and runs over to his buddy.
Nathan: Tinder has just earned himself a title shot.
Vine rushes over to Jason and takes mic away.
Vin E: Hahaha. How does it feel? You thought I was done with you Olaf? After you embarrassed me last week? Think again. Tinder. Next Monday. You get your shot at the City Championship. In an around town match. Falls count anywhere.
Vin E smiles and laughs. Tinder puts on some shades and leans against the fence gesturing at the women watching.
Olaf and his Racoon buddy lay on the dirt and the stream ends.
Nathan: It is here. The third episode of Mischief. And we have a big show.
Tommy: And before we get things started we have what we are told is a contractual obligation to air an advertisement. This may annoy the viewers, but we assure you that it could lead to big things in the near future.
Nathan: So enjoy
An Ad begins. A chubby middle aged Car Salesmen is standing in his lot. He is wearing a suit and a 10 gallon hat. He is Texas Pete.
Texas Pete: Hey my name is Texas Pete. I ain’t from Texas and my name’s not Pete, but I like to talk with an accent. And I also like giving you the best damn deals on used cars in the entire state. You may be tempted to go to my competitor Engine Joe, but I hear prices aren’t the only thing he scalps. So come on down to Texas Petes. Purchase any car off of my lot before July 17th and you earn a free Trump 2020 Ball cap and Teasers xxx desk calendar
The Ad ends.
Nathan: Well that was certainly something.
Tommy Victor: I cannot believe what I have just seen.
Nathan: Or what we are about to see. Our first match tonight. A Texas Jock Strap match.
Tommy: For those of you at home who don’t get the reference. A texas bullrope match puts two opponents against each other while straping them together, tethering them at the wrist with a bull rope.
Nathan: But this is the BWF and we do things a little differently. So because we have a former NCAA wrestler we decided that a Jock strap match would be fitting.
Tommy: Coach Jimbo and Dillon the Villain will be tied together with dirty jock straps. Normal match rules apply otherwise. So there. There is your frame of reference peons. Now monkey play some damn music.
Jason Kel steps into frame.
Tommy: We can’t see you asshole.
Jason steps a little to the left, only slightly in frame now.
Jason: How about now.
Tommy: Perfect.
Jason: I don’t feel like I am in frame.
Nathan: You’re not.
Jason shakes his head and flips Tommy off. Then as professionally as he can resumes his duties.
Jason Kel: Ladies and gentlemen our first match, a Texas Jockstrap match, is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first. He is Dillon the Villain.
THe boombox bitch fumbles around and Metallica’s One plays. Dillon steps out from behind the newly spray painted curtain. Showing no emotion as he walks to the yard.
Nathan: This man is on a mission. You could see it in his eyes.
Tommy: And his latest promo, he has been training harder than he has ever trained before.
Nathan: Something tells me this time it may stick.
Tommy: Just like your mothers sheets after I came over last night.
Jason Kel: And his opponent Coach Jimbo.
The sound of button pressing is heard and Cotton Eye Joe plays. Jimbo comes out line dancing and carrying both his trophy and jock strap from 1988. The masked referee takes the jock strap and ties it to the others, a long string of dirty jock straps prepared prior to the bout. He then ties each wrestler to their respective end.
Tommy: And now they are tied together. With no escape.
Nathan: This is clearly leaning in the favor of Jimbo.
Jimbo pulls on the strap making Dillon step forward against his will. Demonstrating the strength and size difference. The clunking of random metal signals the beginning of the match.
Nathan: And the bell has rung lets get it on!
Jimbo again pulls on the jockstrap strap and Dillon stumbles forward. Jimbo laughs and pulls again, but this time Dillon goes with it, and runs, using the momentum of the pull the strengthen his attack. He dives into Jimbo’s knee causing him to drop onto it.
Nathan: Wow, already taking the big man down.
Dillon gets up and throws several kicks to Jimbos side. He puts his arm up to block his face as Dillons kicks connect in the mid section.
Dillon: That’s right. I Am Dillon the fucking Villain bitch.
JImbo pulls him close and wraps his arms around him and belly to belly suplexes him, but the straps arent long enough for a full execution causing Dollon to land on his head.
Nathan: We are five minutes into this show and already we have someone with cranialitis.
Jimbo slowly gets to his feet and drags Dillon by the straps closer to him. He lifts him up again and Headbutts him. Then pulls him in close and side walk slams him.
Tommy: I think that Dillon is out cold and Jimbo is just playing with him like a cat and mouse.
Jimbo doesn’t even go for a cover just drags him about the yard and picks him up again at his whim. NEar the edge of the property line is a big plastic bench, one that opens for storage. Jimbo drags him to the bench picks him up and slams him on top of it. The bench’s pieces scatter on impact and Dillon lands on the landscaping equipment that was stored within.
Nathan: That had to hurt. The bench straight up exploded on impact. It’s literally turned into dust.
Tommy: It is plastic, and fixable Nathan, but point still stands.
Jimbo lays a foot on the chest of Dillon expecting a quick pinfall. The ref hits the dirt.
1
2
Dillon kicks out, rolling his shoulders off of the ground. Several cameramen are walking around to get their shots on their phones and handhelds. We see some teenagers on bikes watching from the road. Jimbo pulls on the strap so hard that Dillon is launched to his feet. He tries to clothesline him but Dillon ducks under, he turns and gets Enzuguri kicked. He is a little loopy. Dillon digs deep finding the second wind and unleashes a flury of attacks. Punches, kicks, elbows and a headbutt. Jimbo turns away to protect himself but Dillon wraps the strap around Jimbos throat and chokes him. Jimbo face turns bright purple.
Nathan: Somebody call Willy Wonka.
Dillon climbs onto JImbos shoulders and pulls even harder on the straps around JImbo’s neck. He drops to one knee about to pass put. But before he does he reaches up with his other hand and untethers himself. Dillon pulls harder but the Jock straps all fall apart and Dillon falls onto his ass.
Nathan: He has broken the strap and now neither competitor is tethered.
Tommy: I am not sure if this is allowed but Vin E hasn’t sent word to end the match so it continues. JImbo lunges at the proned Villain, but Dillon rolls out of the way and Jimbo collides face first into the ground. He rolls, leaving a dirt impacted imprint of his large frame. He gets to a knee but Dillon reaches into his pocket and grabs his knuckle dusters then swings, not once, not twice but thrice. Connecting every time. Jimbo is out on his feet. Dillon grabs him applies the twist of fate and covers him.
1
2
3
Jason Kel: And your winner, Dillon the Villain.
Nathan: He scores his first victory here at the BWF.
Dillon jumps for joy and runs up to the children near the road watching.
Dillon: That’s right i’m the fucking man. I am the fucking man.
He pulls back as if to swing at the audience. JImbo is already awake though and grabs his trophy.
JImbo: You pimply little shit I am gonna shove this up your ass.
Dillon high tails it and Jimbo walks after him.
Nathan: Well that was an exciting first match. Next up is the Triple Threat.
The Stream cuts to an office/guest room. The Masked Admin is sitting at a desk and VIn E is sitton opposite of him.
Admin: Look Vin E, I called this meeting because of what happened last week when I was away with investors. You brought a goon from a rival company to my show and have spent weeks attacking our champion. What’s the deal? This is literally not ok Vin E.
Vin E: Look, your champion is a homeless man with no marketable value at all. Sure he won the City Championship on his own merit but I told you not to have the title up for grabs yet. I told you to hold the Victory Cup Tournament. You hired me to be a general manager because of what I have accomplished at these “rival feds”/ The Big Boroski isn’t a goon from another fed. He is a potential wrestler here. I have a million ideas and tricks up my sleeve. You think Texas Pete and Engine Joe want their products advertised on a show featuring a hobo as the face of the company?
Admin: That’s between me, the owner, the man with the clipboard, again me, and the investors. You are to handle day to day things. Such as match booking. Not worry about who our champion is. Just promote him.
Vin E: You think the LWA would ever use a hobo? Nope. The LPW? Nope. Not even those knuckleheads in Kittanning at the BWA. You hired me because I am the smartest man in this region, in this state even. No one knows how to book, feature, promote a backyard show like me. IF it weren’t for me, there would be no show to attract investors.
Admin: And that’s exactly why I am not punishing you Vin E. Just asking for better communication. Olaf is a people’s champion. You may not like it. But there cannot be any more shenanigans
Vin E stares longingly at the clipboard.
Vin E: Sure boss. Sure. No more.
Admin: Good now get out there and manage this show, generally speaking.
Back to yard side. Jason Kel is in frame.
Jason: And now introducing Taboo
Mr Crowley plays and Taboo walks out, chainless and Mitch follows him this time. The scars of their ritual showing on Taboos chest.
Jason Kel: And introducing next. Strethcnuts.
Just like that plays and he runs into the yard yelling obscenities at the local children and grabs his nuts like a phat clown prince.
Jason Kel: and finally Maniac Mark.
Tommy: Manic.
Jason: Maniac.
“killing in The Name Of” blares for 20 seconds before “Maniac” Mark walks out and stands well more than shoulder width, almost a split, and puts his arms over his head to form an “X” before walking into the yard and getting ready for battle.
And the three of them square up and the clunking of random metal ding ding dings.
The three of them tie up with one another they jockey about and all let go. Then they tie up again in different formation. This repeats a few times before Stretchnuts kicks Taboo in the groin then flees Mark, running circles around Taboo. Taboo trips the clown and Mark leaps onto him with an elbow to the spine. Taboo tries to get the jump on Mark but misses. Then the two lock up. Mark turns Taboos arm inside out.
Nathan: Mark debuted last week. He is a true death matcher but we didn’t see much of it.
Tommy: So this week we took the liberty of lining the yard with wood and other weapons, but something tells me he prefers that barbed wire bat.
Mark DDts Taboo to the ground. Leaving him spiked, completely upright for a moment. Stretchnuts comes at him but he lifts him into a back body drop, he lands onto Taboo. Then Mark splashes onto the both of them. HE covers.
1
2
They both wiggle out and Mark finds a piece of wood and places it on a wheel barrel and a burn barrel creating a make shift table. Taboo runs over to him and forearms him from behind. Mark turns around and punches him and delivers a toe kick. Taboo is bent Down and Mark lifts him up and powerbombs him through the plywood. Stretchnuts swings a few punches but Mark runs at him with the wheel barrel and runs with him inside of it all the way to Neds truck. They smash into the side of it.
Nathan: mark is on fire right now.
While Mark pummels Stretchnuts Mitch and Taboo set up a series of make shift tables. Mark turns to him and runs and smashes a short arm clothesline to both of them. Mitch is first to his feet and Mark delivers a Cure, pump handle slam to him through one of the tables. Taboo kicks Mark but Mark wall jumps from the side of the house and forearms him. Taboo falls through a table of his own. The second table bump taking a lot out of him.
Nathan: Taboo cannot catch a break around here. I hope he is better are bdsm gigs than he is here.
Tommy: I assure that he is.
Nathan: How...How do you..
Tommy: That’s between me and your mother.
Suddenly Strethnuts smashes Mark in the head with a 2 liter of moon myst.
Stretchnuts: Moon myset is the best you fake ass bitch. Moon myst.
He opens it and pours it all over Mark and down his throat. Then steps over to the final table and pours lighter fluid on it and strikes a match. It goes out immediately. So he strikes the whole pack and lights the table.
Tommy: And the table is ablaze
Mark brings bessie down onto Stretchnuts shoulder he screams in pain and, his eyes are wider than his mouth. He spins around and is met with A Cure from Mark right through the flaming table. The fire goes out on impact, after singing the jersey Stretchnuts was wearing. Mark pins the clown.
1
2
3
Jason: And here is your winner Maniac Mark.
Nathan: What an impressive showing. He made light work of Taboo and Strethcnuts will never be the same.
The yard is picked up for the main event. Jason takes his trusty old Mic from Rock Band and announces.
Jason Kel: And now a non title, match. Introducing first the challenger.
GLASS SHATTERS.
Jason Kel: Tinder Mahal
Shakira’s hips don’t lie plays on the boombox.
Seductively and energetically thrusts and pivots his hips and crotch towards the camera and onlookers while pointing and gesturing for them to "cum get sum." Once in the yard "ring" he will go from corner to corner and blow kisses to EVERYONE in the crowd before doing a quick floss dance and then rolling onto his back and lifting his legs into the air in a "V" shape.
Nathan: I don’t know what to make of this fella, but he has impressed everyone here at the BWF.
Tommy: He certainly hasn’t outsourced any talent.
Jason: And your City Champion. Olaf the HArdcore Hobo.
harmonica music with railroad sounds spliced in Plays
Olaf Shakes his bindle at the crowd, swipes at whatever concession food he can get his hands on. Wearing the City Championship with pride. No sooner than he has the belt removed from his waist Tinder attacks before the bell. He strikes a few times but Olaf elbows himself free and points to Tinder who stops in his tracks and dances a jig.
A larger audience has gathered on the nearby porches. Tinder and Olaf lock up. Olaf wraps around and pulls Tinders legs out from under him. He hits the ground face first. Olaf goes for a headlock but Tinder rolls free and lays seductively on the ground. But instead of being put off Olaf goes right in for him and starts pounding on him. Than stands up and lands a leg drop.
Nathan: And our champion is showing why he is the top guy.
Tommy: A perfect fit for Tinder, who strikes me as a bottom guy.
Olaf lands another leg drop and lifts Tinder up to his feet and delivers a stalling atomic drop. Tinder hops around in pain grabbing his ass and screaming. Olaf runs and knees. Tinder takes a light jog away to catch his breath and Olaf rouses the crowd with some classic Hobo jeering. HE looks at Tinder with all of his gold and asks for spare change. Tinder reaches into his pocket and takes some out then whips it at Olaf, hitting him in the eyes.
He shrieks loudly and runs forearming the champion. Then delivers a classic Tinder bitch kick to his opponents head. He sees the girl on the neighboring porch, and remembers her from last week and gestures sexually to her.
Nathan: Someone should really tell him that girl is like 14.
Tinder: Perfectly legal in my culture.
Tommy: Won’t be long before Tinder is having a seat right over there.
Olaf gets up and Tinder sensually slams him with a sexy German suplex. Then lifts him up and does it once more.
Nathan: Thank you come again.
Tinder: That’s what she said!
Nathan: She’s 14 Tinder.
Tinder slaps Olaf a few times across the face.
Tommy: Swipping left he is.
Tinder grabs Olafs bindle and strokes it a few times before breaking it over his back.
Tinder does some sexy dancing, to confident in his spot. Olaf takes the moment he needs for a come back. Tinder turns around and Olaf is upright and pounching. He thumbs his eye and then discus punches him. Kicks him in the gut and hits him with a stunner and pins.
1
2
Thr
Tinder kicks out.
Nathan: Oh my that was close.
Olaf reaches into his britches and pulls out his hobo sock. Tinder takes off a large gold chain from around his neck and as Olaf reaches out for the hobo handjob Tinder smacks him with the chain. Olf drops to a knee seeing stars. Tinder mimmicks the hobo handjob and reaches into his pocket and pulls out a double xl condom. He puts it over his hand and delivers a mandible claw of his own.
Nathan: I suppose we can call that the Hindi Handjob.
HE pins.
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2
Thre
Olaf kicks out and Tinder gets mad and argues with the referee. This goes on just long enough for Olaf to reach up and apply a schoolboy pin.
1
2
Tinder kicks out but they are to their feet at the same time. Olaf, still with his sock over his hand delivers the Hobo Handjob but lets go after just a second.
Nathan: He had the match won. Why did he let go?
Vin E is seen near the road with a cat cage, inside is a racoon.
Tommy: Is that Olaf’s pal?
Olaf steps forward to walk toward Vin E and Tinder comes up and hits the Shake, Rattle, and Bone. He covers.
1
2
3
Jason: And here is your winner. Tinder Mahal.
Vine Laughs from his belly and drops the animal crate. The racoon escapes and runs over to his buddy.
Nathan: Tinder has just earned himself a title shot.
Vine rushes over to Jason and takes mic away.
Vin E: Hahaha. How does it feel? You thought I was done with you Olaf? After you embarrassed me last week? Think again. Tinder. Next Monday. You get your shot at the City Championship. In an around town match. Falls count anywhere.
Vin E smiles and laughs. Tinder puts on some shades and leans against the fence gesturing at the women watching.
Olaf and his Racoon buddy lay on the dirt and the stream ends.