Post by manicmark on Jul 7, 2019 22:20:11 GMT -5
The local crematorium in the city fills the screen as a very obvious cellphone camera is rolling. a female voice suddenly is heard as the “camera person” is trying not to shake her hand so much.
Woman: Mark, like, I think it’s on.
Mark’s voice is heard off camera.
Mark: Let me see.
More screen shaking before it settles.
Mark: Ok, yea its rolling. I’ll make sure they edit this out when I send it to Vin E.
A giggle is heard off screen. Mark finally walks into the shot, dressed in a threadbare grey suit, the knees have holes in them and he’s wearing flip flops instead of dress shoes.
Mark: March 23rd, 2003. That was the day that drunk ass step dad picked up my mothers ashes from this place, brought them to the backyard of my moms house that he was still living in because the fuckin’ coppers could act fast enough to save my moms, and dumped them on the grass. That was it. No more mom, no more parents, and 16 year old Mark was fucking homeless. “Get your shit and get out ninja” was all I heard from him, the hatchet man around his neck swinging in front of his Psychopathic Records jersey that he used the last of my moms savings to buy. That was also the day that I swore I would crush any moterfakko that repped that piece of shit hatchet man.
Fast forward to two weeks ago and that bastard Stretch Nuts comes out with the paint and the jersey and there is that goddam hatchet man again.
Mark pauses as we can hear the woman behind the camera trying her best to not cry loud.
Mark: So you see Stretch, when I come after you, it’s not because I hate you, which I do don’t get me wrong, it’s because I hate the idea of people like you. Lazy ass bastards with face paint and hockey sweaters that have no talent, no physical prowess, yet they act like they are some ducking God because they like a band who’s most famous lyric is “Magnets, who the fuck does that work?l” The Dark Carnival, the fucking gathering of the Juggalos, all of it is such bullshit. You follow around this cult that does nothing but give you a sense of belonging that you don’t deserve.
So come the super show, we’re gonna brawl....oh yes we are going to brawl. And when I throw you and your JNCO jeans into the fire it’s going to be retribution for everything that you and those like you have done to me and my family. My mother would still be here today if it wasn’t for Ted. She wouldn’t treat him like a fucking king and suck his dick after he’d just pulled it if some nasty juggalettes butthole. She wouldn’t support his need for everything to be decorated hatchetman like he wanted. So he beat the shit out of her l. He beat the shit out of her just like I’m going to beat the shit out of you on Monday. It’s not my time to go Stretch, it’s yours. So after the fire burns you I’ll bring you here and have Morty the mortician package your ashes like he did my mom. Maybe I’ll give them to your family, or maybe I’ll just piss on them after I drink a gallon of ROCK N RYE motherfucker. Because it is the best flavor no matter what anyone says.
You see, when You die.. I’m going to do the zombie slide all over your grave because i’m wiping everything out with a band….a pow… and a boom!
Mark starts to laugh as the phone is put on the ground, still facing him somehow (kickstand motherfukka) and the woman that has been filming runs over to Mark. and hugs him.
Woman: Oh I didn’t know Mark. I am so sorry.
Mark: It’s ok Brittany Brittany..it will all be ok once I get rid of that fucking hatchet man…
The phone dies and the feed ends.
Woman: Mark, like, I think it’s on.
Mark’s voice is heard off camera.
Mark: Let me see.
More screen shaking before it settles.
Mark: Ok, yea its rolling. I’ll make sure they edit this out when I send it to Vin E.
A giggle is heard off screen. Mark finally walks into the shot, dressed in a threadbare grey suit, the knees have holes in them and he’s wearing flip flops instead of dress shoes.
Mark: March 23rd, 2003. That was the day that drunk ass step dad picked up my mothers ashes from this place, brought them to the backyard of my moms house that he was still living in because the fuckin’ coppers could act fast enough to save my moms, and dumped them on the grass. That was it. No more mom, no more parents, and 16 year old Mark was fucking homeless. “Get your shit and get out ninja” was all I heard from him, the hatchet man around his neck swinging in front of his Psychopathic Records jersey that he used the last of my moms savings to buy. That was also the day that I swore I would crush any moterfakko that repped that piece of shit hatchet man.
Fast forward to two weeks ago and that bastard Stretch Nuts comes out with the paint and the jersey and there is that goddam hatchet man again.
Mark pauses as we can hear the woman behind the camera trying her best to not cry loud.
Mark: So you see Stretch, when I come after you, it’s not because I hate you, which I do don’t get me wrong, it’s because I hate the idea of people like you. Lazy ass bastards with face paint and hockey sweaters that have no talent, no physical prowess, yet they act like they are some ducking God because they like a band who’s most famous lyric is “Magnets, who the fuck does that work?l” The Dark Carnival, the fucking gathering of the Juggalos, all of it is such bullshit. You follow around this cult that does nothing but give you a sense of belonging that you don’t deserve.
So come the super show, we’re gonna brawl....oh yes we are going to brawl. And when I throw you and your JNCO jeans into the fire it’s going to be retribution for everything that you and those like you have done to me and my family. My mother would still be here today if it wasn’t for Ted. She wouldn’t treat him like a fucking king and suck his dick after he’d just pulled it if some nasty juggalettes butthole. She wouldn’t support his need for everything to be decorated hatchetman like he wanted. So he beat the shit out of her l. He beat the shit out of her just like I’m going to beat the shit out of you on Monday. It’s not my time to go Stretch, it’s yours. So after the fire burns you I’ll bring you here and have Morty the mortician package your ashes like he did my mom. Maybe I’ll give them to your family, or maybe I’ll just piss on them after I drink a gallon of ROCK N RYE motherfucker. Because it is the best flavor no matter what anyone says.
You see, when You die.. I’m going to do the zombie slide all over your grave because i’m wiping everything out with a band….a pow… and a boom!
Mark starts to laugh as the phone is put on the ground, still facing him somehow (kickstand motherfukka) and the woman that has been filming runs over to Mark. and hugs him.
Woman: Oh I didn’t know Mark. I am so sorry.
Mark: It’s ok Brittany Brittany..it will all be ok once I get rid of that fucking hatchet man…
The phone dies and the feed ends.